I’m not going to beat around the bush. There’s no reason to be diplomatic about this. If you wonder what to major in, you’ve come to the right place. You’ll get no pfaff from me about critical thinking and learning “styles.” I don’t care if you learn best by collaborating with crocodiles or converting information into sock puppet skits. Your ONLY option for a major is Literature. If you can’t shake a science bug, fine. Take science on the side. Minor in it. If not, oh well. I guess somebody has to play the medic in the various apocalypse scenarios to come.  Someone’s got to repair all those English majors for all that surviving they’ll be doing.

Here’s the deal. Life is dangerous. Books and novels, poems and plays, are all about those dangers. The important ones like war and revolution, infidelity and alien invasion. Many of these hazards are…